for my first 25 years of life i felt tormented in a particular way. due to my exposure to western psychology concepts, i thought it must have been caused by something that had happened to me during this lifetime, even though that really didn't match up with my own memories of my life. i thought that i needed to "accept" it as part of "my story" in order to resolve it. but that didn't work, and eventually a friend gave me some good advice that helped me stop identifying myself with it.
suddenly, i noticed that this previously-terrifying thing was really a lot like a toddler throwing a tantrum: it lacks agency, doesn't know how to take care of itself, and lashes out with a lot of intensity to get what it wants. it thought it needed unlimited candy, but what it really needed was a nap, yknow? relating to it more like a child making an untenable demand really demystified the situation. it allowed me to step into the role of a caring adult, which provided me with a context for how to listen with care but not feel beholden to the demands that were being made.
once i understood the power dynamic, the whole thing became easy to handle and was even kind of sweet. but man, learning not to identify with the ghost...that part was hard. western psychology isn't doing us many favours on that front. having a concept of ghosts is useful to de-identify with these forces, but to your point, the idea of "ghosts" is automatically heightening to most westernised ppl's systems! we don't have an everyday, normal relationship with subtle beings. for me it was necessary to relate to my ghost situation with a very mundane framework (i.e. a kid who is having a meltdown cus there's no more candy) because at the time, that was the only way for me to stay sober throughout the process.
This writing is another level - instantly accessible whilst wisdom-unveilingly re-readable. Surely, I'm not the only one who once had a fetishized contract with a roommate that went ghastly awry... Then, all of a sudden, we're looking at America. (Thanks again, Dare.)
for my first 25 years of life i felt tormented in a particular way. due to my exposure to western psychology concepts, i thought it must have been caused by something that had happened to me during this lifetime, even though that really didn't match up with my own memories of my life. i thought that i needed to "accept" it as part of "my story" in order to resolve it. but that didn't work, and eventually a friend gave me some good advice that helped me stop identifying myself with it.
suddenly, i noticed that this previously-terrifying thing was really a lot like a toddler throwing a tantrum: it lacks agency, doesn't know how to take care of itself, and lashes out with a lot of intensity to get what it wants. it thought it needed unlimited candy, but what it really needed was a nap, yknow? relating to it more like a child making an untenable demand really demystified the situation. it allowed me to step into the role of a caring adult, which provided me with a context for how to listen with care but not feel beholden to the demands that were being made.
once i understood the power dynamic, the whole thing became easy to handle and was even kind of sweet. but man, learning not to identify with the ghost...that part was hard. western psychology isn't doing us many favours on that front. having a concept of ghosts is useful to de-identify with these forces, but to your point, the idea of "ghosts" is automatically heightening to most westernised ppl's systems! we don't have an everyday, normal relationship with subtle beings. for me it was necessary to relate to my ghost situation with a very mundane framework (i.e. a kid who is having a meltdown cus there's no more candy) because at the time, that was the only way for me to stay sober throughout the process.
This writing is another level - instantly accessible whilst wisdom-unveilingly re-readable. Surely, I'm not the only one who once had a fetishized contract with a roommate that went ghastly awry... Then, all of a sudden, we're looking at America. (Thanks again, Dare.)