Graduating from the kindergarten of the soul

For the past 5 years i laid out the steps it takes to go from a colonized, traumatized, codependent modern person… addicted to various forms of narcissism, dissociation, individualism, preferences, ideology and abstract, decontextualized concepts… towards a mature, nondual animist that has an artistic, playful, grounded relationality to all phenomena.

I laid this “beginner-friendly” foundation mostly for free or low cost. It’s. All. There. I aimed to be as generous as the ancestors were with me, without the cursed fate, biases, racist classist westernism and gender warfare. I aimed to be transparent, honest and dedicated to the practices.

I did all this so that i could be done with a certain kind of ancestral hell that co-opted my entire life for 40 years.

I did all this so i could learn and articulate what was lacking from theater arts, performing arts and other artistic group settings, learning institutions and workshops.

I did all this so i could die without regret and without resentment towards myself.

I did all this because that is what was requested of me, forcefully.

I’m at a point now, where i realize that many of the hardships of the last 5 years have been because i was too nice and too naive, and accepted forms of mediocrity as a kind of strange, dystopian compassion. I now see that this ideological poison had harmed me, the way drinking coffee everyday would harm a person even if we accept they are doing it to survive.

Being a real teacher is no joke. It is a kind of spiritual battle for sanity over insanity.

The reality is that stability must be the priority. Stability is largely composed of a wide ecosystem of hygiene practices which include various meditation, somatics, mindfulness, critical thinking, nutrition, boundaries, breathing, sleeping and more. It is nothing less than an anti-addiction detox strategy that is ongoing and specific.

To do this well i had to get angry and stay angry. This is the kind of anger that refuses the easy social ideas, the banal social “feedback” of people who want what they want. This is the kind of anger that keeps your eye on the prize. The kind of anger that allows you to cut the cord at the moment when you receive updated information about what is happening, about who people really are choosing to be. It is the kind of anger that is the voice of the elements who are your real home and your real family.

This is not what traumababies want. I do believe it is what they, and us as a culture, need. But i have zero hope, faith or trust that the vast majority of humans will choose this. I feel one might have to be forced to choose this, after all other options have proven to be scams.

If you cannot perceive how this anger is love, then you are not the kind of person who can learn from my art. If you want something from me that is other than what i am here for, you will become confused, dissatisfied or otherwise use me as a scapegoat for your own unintegrated feelings.

Stability, hygiene, death practice. Thats the antidote to this bardo. And by antidote i just mean a way to stave off the normalized insanity and addiction. A way to say no to the tantalizing golden handcuffs and devils bargains you are already drowning inside of.

---

45 hour/3 month online demo(n) group is still accepting students until the first week of September. Requires application and determination. Find the links on this substack in previous posts or on the animistarts.art website.

Im also available for private creative coaching sessions to help you get real, real quick, with animistic art practices. Sliding scale $300-150

Happy to receive mutual aid donations at venmo at @dare-sohei if my free work on substack and youtube has helped you get a bit more sober and relational.