death dreams returns
maybe.
1 hour video.
im typing this from my ipad while i have covid.
it took a dozen tries to get the link of that vimeo video to paste correctly.
i expect maybe two ppl to actually watch the video.
covid reminds me of all the other times ive gotten sick and the times i almost died. its what led me to develop death practoce, which still appears to be a niche esoteric philosophy. i feel like the last 5 years have been pivot after pivot, trying to figure out how to function inside of capitalism while aiming to help others. i can say now that it doesnt feel worth it in many ways. the narcissists and abusers and ableists have the game rigged. slavery is still the norm. we think we are free but we have no real culture of care.
it is what it is. 12,000 years of domination indoctrination will eventually create very weird patterns in behavior and culture. again, death practice.
dont call on me as an ancestor when im gone. seriously. do not.
if i manage to avoid long covid i will be making some very difficult life direction decisions i likely wont share with many if any people. one of the contemplations is around where i can live that doesnt force me to try and create relationships digitally as ive seen that it really has a poor success rate for real vibes. its not a zero percent success rate but it is very low. the other major consideration is where i would rather die.
for me, the sacred, nondual animism, addiction rehab and theatrical play/humor are the same. the fact that this isnt common knowledge says everything so i wont waste my breath. i need to find a place where i dont have to explain this and i can just live the rest of my life doing what i know to be true or just hurry up this transition.
i have to figure out what i can offer up in terms of services to fund my medical bills/relocation bills. i dont think the correct audience is available yet but i am thinking about a deathclown intensive, a small group cohort that is similar to private sessions but not private, not “therapy”. sessions would be maybe 2-3 hours and around 75- $125 a ticket. participants must participate. just thinking out loud.
animist arts live events page will be finalized by the weekend. if you are in portland, come do the thing.